Thursday, November 29, 2007

Scorpion Queen

As you have probably guessed this post is about an encounter I recently had with a scorpion. I have met a few of them outside and had no problem just stepping on them and kicking them out of the way, but because this one was in my house it freaked me out a little more than usual and the conversation I had with Isaac was too funny to not share. Here's the picture of it hanging from my ceiling just inside the door to my garage. I'm surprised I even got this picture with how bad I was freaking out.
So after taking this picture I decided I should put on the largest pair of shoes I owned to smash it. I run to my closet and pick out some 2 inch heavy wood platforms. I then get my broom to knock it off the ceiling which I do and of course it starts running after me because these things have no fear. At this point I decide that I don't want to get close enough to step on it so I just start beating it with the broom. It is making such a loud ruckus that Isaac comes to see what is going on. In his most condescending voice he asks "mom, what are you doing?"

To which I reply, "killing a scorpion"

The condescension leaves his voice for a moment while he asks "is it dead"

I reply "yeah, I think so"

Full condescension back, with a hint of annoyance that he is the only intelligent one in the household "so then you can stop hitting it mom."

At this point the handle to my broom breaks, I don't stop beating the thing, I just throw the smaller piece aside and continue smacking the thing at least 15 more times. (Isaac has left, he has better things to do with his time.) So it's guts are splattered everywhere, the tail has finally stopped twitching and I figure I can stop. I run and grab a paper towel and clean up the dead bug and surrounding guts. Now I can't put it in my garbage can with the obvious fear that it could come back to life and come and attack me when I least expect it (I've seen a few horror movies, I'm not stupid). I briefly think of flushing it down the toilet but obviously can't do that because I don't know if they can survive in water, it could easily come and sting my behind the next time I'm going to the bathroom. so I do the only logical thing there is, I tossed it in the neighbors trash can!!

6 comments:

Carissa, Brandon & Carly said...

Angela, you rock!! Your story made me laugh out loud! I freak out over spiders. If I'm home alone, I grab one of Brandon's huge shoes to kill them! I don't know what I would do if we had scorpions.
Carissa

Katie Brown said...

that is the worst story i have ever heard. i hear we have scorpions in texas, but i've yet to see one yet. that thing was huge! i've heard you can flush them, but i'd definitely research that before risking my bottom's safety...

Burnhams said...

Scary! I always think that the bugs I smash and flush are going to come back up to get me too. haha

Nancy said...

Oh Ang! I totally relate to this! I laughed, of course, but I can totally relate. Scorpions are evil, scary things.

I especially loved how Isaac said "So you can stop hitting it then". Such a male comment.

Starley Family said...

Nice! Well done Ang. I don't think I would have been as brave as you. Ickk!!! I would have barred the garage and waited until Nate came home to kill it. Pathetic I know but...it's a scorpion. So crazy coloring too. My brother said the white ones are poisonous, the black are fine (which is why we always see the black ones in movies) from his good morning stinging encounters as a missionary in Mexico. What about the reddish/brown ones?

mike said...

Hey Angela,
I heard about this scorpion when we were down there this last weekend, but the picture is great. i have yet to see one myself...maybe we just don't get them in anthem. sunday night was so much fun with the boys...i can see isaac telling you that "duh" the scorpion's dead.
Mike