epiphany

I was patiently waiting for the hostess at Chili's to seat me and my family when I noticed her pants. Yes, I said her pants. Okay, not just her pants but how her pants were fitting her, and quite honestly it was rather poorly. I began contemplating why she would choose these pants when they were clearly not that flattering. Then I realized, I don't own a pair of pants that are flattering. I began wondering why it is so impossible for a woman to find a decent pair of trousers, and then it hit me. Pants were not originally designed to fit a womans body. Remember? Women wore dresses for a long time. And ya know why? Because pants just don't work for the female figure. Not the true female figure anyways. It wasn't oppression that kept us in dresses, it was a favor!! They were saying "here wear something that goes out when it hits your hips, no one has to know the size of your rear-end!" Sure there are some stick figures out there who have no problem finding pants, and to be honest I used to be one of them. Then I had children and my hips expanded a good two inches (at least), my thighs exploded and "love handles" grew, I also "cultured" some cottage cheese on just about every inch of my body. The rest as they say is history......I can no longer find a pair of pants that flatter me in anyway. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it anyway.

P.S Don't forget to vote on my hair color!!!