wednesday morning randoms

• My husband has brought another woman into the home to perform "wifely duties". The duties she took over include but are not limited to, scrubbing the toilets, cleaning out my refrigerator, washing the walls, and vacuuming. I've never felt closer or more in love with my husband. I've also never had such strong loving feelings for a woman I don't really know.
• My 6 year old took 4th place in a karate tournament. We couldn't be more proud, especially because the 3 boys who beat him were HUGE!!!! But he held his own!!!
• I've given up caffeine. I don't know what is different about this time, but I'm not even missing it. I'm on day 4 of no caffeine and I feel fantastic!!!
• My bottom is bruised from sitting on horribly uncomfortable chairs at school 2 days a week. It's a serious problem.
• My 6 year old asked me if I remembered going to Olive Jungle and eating breadsticks, I think he meant Olive Garden. But jungle is close enough.
• My husband bought me new dishes for Valentines day. They're super cute. They also prove that my mother was wrong when she said things wont bring you happiness, because these dishes make me happy every time I look at them. Even when I'm loading them into the dishwasher!!!

love it!!!

My 3 year old is playing tackle football by himself.

His team is the Stealers.

The opposing team is the Teenagers.

I love that kids brain!!!

I almost peed my pants

I don't know if I will be able to convey the hilariousness of the situation through my writing, but I'm going to try my hardest.

Jason and I had exiled our children to our bedroom to watch TV while he and I watched a movie downstairs. They had been relatively quiet when we suddenly heard a loud thud. I waited a few moments and sure enough my youngest came trudging down the stairs yelling that I needed to look because something fell.

I ran upstairs and as I got to the top of the stairs my oldest casually comes walking out of his room with his hands in his pockets and calmly inquires "what's going on mom?" (and I knew then that whatever was going on was his fault) as he falls in line behind his younger brother on the way to my bedroom. As we walk through the door to my room I see that my curtains along with the curtain-rod to the sliding glass door are on the floor. My oldest shouts, "OH MY HECK!!! What happened?!" and throws his hands over his mouth in fake shock.

My youngest then turns to his older brother and says incredulously, "you did it!"

And that's when I started laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.

After I assured my oldest that I wasn't mad about the curtains falling, (they were barely hanging on by a thread as it was) and that I just needed to know what happened, he admitted that he had accidently pulled them down.

Valentines Day

It's almost here.

I've always felt like Valentines Day was a mean holiday that was created to make single people feel miserable. People used to accuse me of feeling that way because I was usually single on Valentines day. But I haven't been single on Valentines day in over 8 years, and I still think it's a mean holiday that makes single people feel miserable. It's also the worst night of the year to go out on a date (everything is obnoxiously crowded), or get flowers (can you be any more unoriginal?).

But make no mistake, I am madly in love....

....and I do expect a nice gift from him!!

Bullets

• I'm trying really, really, really hard to give up my coke and coke slushes. It's not going so well. The longest I have made it in a single day was to 3pm, I was literally gagging and shaking when I finally gave in and went and got a stupid slush. I'm in trouble.
• My youngest got punched in the arm today by my oldest and said, "ouch! you hurt my feelings!!"
• Something else I'm trying really, really hard to give up.... swearing. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have a potty mouth, and it is rubbing off on my oldest. But I have to tell you, he used the term a$$hole like a pro when yelling at the other drivers in his racing video game.
• Remember a couple posts ago (like 10) when I gave you that quote and then said, "name that movie", it was from A Few Good Men. That was the movie that made me want to be a lawyer. I still really want to be a lawyer, but I also want my hair to stop falling out and my bathrooms to stop smelling like urine.
• I never thought I'd be one of those women who tried to do it all, but I kind of am. Except I've given up on keeping my bathrooms from smelling like urine.

A quick shout out

Today is my moms birthday, she's a great mom and my best friend. So I just want to take this opportunity to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!