Why dinosaurs are extinct

My mom sent this to me in an email today and I literally laughed out loud, for kind of a long time. I realize this makes me a dork but the thing is, I can totally relate to them.

Ramble on...

Don't mind me, I'm just going to ramble for a minute.

• My youngest tripped and hurt his knee today. I wasn't there to witness it so he showed me the "instant replay" in slow motion, with a play-by-play commentary.
• I survived my 28th birthday. I ate a pound and a half of crab legs to celebrate. I might have to go back for my 2 week 28th birthday anniversary for another pound and a half.
• There is a giant hole in my backyard where my pool will eventually be. I can't friggin wait for it to be finished!!!
• I have found that if I ever need motivation to clean I can just watch an episode of Hoarders. It's a train wreck that I just can't turn away from.
• My oldest counted to 100,000 the other day. Luckily it was by 100's, it still took a really long time and all the patience I have. I'm so proud of that kid, he is sooooo smart and funny.

You may now resume your life.

There are no words

Just giggles!!!

I'm a hot mess

I went for a nice long walk today because I've been feeling a bit chunky.

Then I went to the park and played tag with my kids until I thought I would vomit (it didn't take very long). Again, because I've been feeling a bit chunky.

Then I went home and had a huge bowl of ice-cream.

Counterproductive maybe?

I'm running out of things to say.....

Once again I find myself with nothing to say. It usually happens when school is completely overwhelming me, and this time is no different. So I'll ramble for a minute or two.

• My birthday is coming up. I'm not as freaked out about it this year as I was last year. Everyone keeps asking what I'm gonna do for it (I think they're assuming I'll have a party), my big plans are a pedi/mani and Red Lobster. I just don't have the energy to celebrate.
• I really need to go and put sunscreen on my children but I just don't feel like fighting with them. I know I'll regret it tonight when they're crying in the shower because it burns so bad.
• We're getting a pool. It should be done by the end of May (at the latest). I think this also means we'll be getting more visitors....
• I have a required class for school that I have to interview for. It's beyond obnoxious, especially because the main requirement most of the professors have is that you are planning on attending graduate school. I think I'm going to have to lie about it.
• I'm really content with my life right now. It feels so good to be living comfortably and to be at peace with the decisions I've made in my life.
• I love my husband, he amazes me. ....and spoils me.
• My youngest child told me yesterday that he loves my eyeballs. I love his eyeballs too.

wow

I was reading through my blog yesterday, (instead of paying attention in my classes) and realized that I haven't posted pictures of my beautiful babies recently. So, here they are....

We went to the monster truck show, they loved it.

I included this picture because I was having a really good hair-day that day and I wanted to show you...

Soccer season has started again!!! Have you noticed that it's a year-round thing here? 'cause I sure have...

This is my youngest helping his daddy fix our curtain problem.

Here's my oldest son with his 4th place trophy from the karate tournament.

Thanks for sticking around and finishing that entire post full of obnoxious quips about my cute kids. I'm sure you'll be blessed for it.

wednesday morning randoms

• My husband has brought another woman into the home to perform "wifely duties". The duties she took over include but are not limited to, scrubbing the toilets, cleaning out my refrigerator, washing the walls, and vacuuming. I've never felt closer or more in love with my husband. I've also never had such strong loving feelings for a woman I don't really know.
• My 6 year old took 4th place in a karate tournament. We couldn't be more proud, especially because the 3 boys who beat him were HUGE!!!! But he held his own!!!
• I've given up caffeine. I don't know what is different about this time, but I'm not even missing it. I'm on day 4 of no caffeine and I feel fantastic!!!
• My bottom is bruised from sitting on horribly uncomfortable chairs at school 2 days a week. It's a serious problem.
• My 6 year old asked me if I remembered going to Olive Jungle and eating breadsticks, I think he meant Olive Garden. But jungle is close enough.
• My husband bought me new dishes for Valentines day. They're super cute. They also prove that my mother was wrong when she said things wont bring you happiness, because these dishes make me happy every time I look at them. Even when I'm loading them into the dishwasher!!!

love it!!!

My 3 year old is playing tackle football by himself.

His team is the Stealers.

The opposing team is the Teenagers.

I love that kids brain!!!

I almost peed my pants

I don't know if I will be able to convey the hilariousness of the situation through my writing, but I'm going to try my hardest.

Jason and I had exiled our children to our bedroom to watch TV while he and I watched a movie downstairs. They had been relatively quiet when we suddenly heard a loud thud. I waited a few moments and sure enough my youngest came trudging down the stairs yelling that I needed to look because something fell.

I ran upstairs and as I got to the top of the stairs my oldest casually comes walking out of his room with his hands in his pockets and calmly inquires "what's going on mom?" (and I knew then that whatever was going on was his fault) as he falls in line behind his younger brother on the way to my bedroom. As we walk through the door to my room I see that my curtains along with the curtain-rod to the sliding glass door are on the floor. My oldest shouts, "OH MY HECK!!! What happened?!" and throws his hands over his mouth in fake shock.

My youngest then turns to his older brother and says incredulously, "you did it!"

And that's when I started laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.

After I assured my oldest that I wasn't mad about the curtains falling, (they were barely hanging on by a thread as it was) and that I just needed to know what happened, he admitted that he had accidently pulled them down.

Valentines Day

It's almost here.

I've always felt like Valentines Day was a mean holiday that was created to make single people feel miserable. People used to accuse me of feeling that way because I was usually single on Valentines day. But I haven't been single on Valentines day in over 8 years, and I still think it's a mean holiday that makes single people feel miserable. It's also the worst night of the year to go out on a date (everything is obnoxiously crowded), or get flowers (can you be any more unoriginal?).

But make no mistake, I am madly in love....

....and I do expect a nice gift from him!!

Bullets

• I'm trying really, really, really hard to give up my coke and coke slushes. It's not going so well. The longest I have made it in a single day was to 3pm, I was literally gagging and shaking when I finally gave in and went and got a stupid slush. I'm in trouble.
• My youngest got punched in the arm today by my oldest and said, "ouch! you hurt my feelings!!"
• Something else I'm trying really, really hard to give up.... swearing. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have a potty mouth, and it is rubbing off on my oldest. But I have to tell you, he used the term a$$hole like a pro when yelling at the other drivers in his racing video game.
• Remember a couple posts ago (like 10) when I gave you that quote and then said, "name that movie", it was from A Few Good Men. That was the movie that made me want to be a lawyer. I still really want to be a lawyer, but I also want my hair to stop falling out and my bathrooms to stop smelling like urine.
• I never thought I'd be one of those women who tried to do it all, but I kind of am. Except I've given up on keeping my bathrooms from smelling like urine.

A quick shout out

Today is my moms birthday, she's a great mom and my best friend. So I just want to take this opportunity to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!