wednesday morning randoms

• My husband has brought another woman into the home to perform "wifely duties". The duties she took over include but are not limited to, scrubbing the toilets, cleaning out my refrigerator, washing the walls, and vacuuming. I've never felt closer or more in love with my husband. I've also never had such strong loving feelings for a woman I don't really know.
• My 6 year old took 4th place in a karate tournament. We couldn't be more proud, especially because the 3 boys who beat him were HUGE!!!! But he held his own!!!
• I've given up caffeine. I don't know what is different about this time, but I'm not even missing it. I'm on day 4 of no caffeine and I feel fantastic!!!
• My bottom is bruised from sitting on horribly uncomfortable chairs at school 2 days a week. It's a serious problem.
• My 6 year old asked me if I remembered going to Olive Jungle and eating breadsticks, I think he meant Olive Garden. But jungle is close enough.
• My husband bought me new dishes for Valentines day. They're super cute. They also prove that my mother was wrong when she said things wont bring you happiness, because these dishes make me happy every time I look at them. Even when I'm loading them into the dishwasher!!!

love it!!!

My 3 year old is playing tackle football by himself.

His team is the Stealers.

The opposing team is the Teenagers.

I love that kids brain!!!

I almost peed my pants

I don't know if I will be able to convey the hilariousness of the situation through my writing, but I'm going to try my hardest.

Jason and I had exiled our children to our bedroom to watch TV while he and I watched a movie downstairs. They had been relatively quiet when we suddenly heard a loud thud. I waited a few moments and sure enough my youngest came trudging down the stairs yelling that I needed to look because something fell.

I ran upstairs and as I got to the top of the stairs my oldest casually comes walking out of his room with his hands in his pockets and calmly inquires "what's going on mom?" (and I knew then that whatever was going on was his fault) as he falls in line behind his younger brother on the way to my bedroom. As we walk through the door to my room I see that my curtains along with the curtain-rod to the sliding glass door are on the floor. My oldest shouts, "OH MY HECK!!! What happened?!" and throws his hands over his mouth in fake shock.

My youngest then turns to his older brother and says incredulously, "you did it!"

And that's when I started laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.

After I assured my oldest that I wasn't mad about the curtains falling, (they were barely hanging on by a thread as it was) and that I just needed to know what happened, he admitted that he had accidently pulled them down.

Valentines Day

It's almost here.

I've always felt like Valentines Day was a mean holiday that was created to make single people feel miserable. People used to accuse me of feeling that way because I was usually single on Valentines day. But I haven't been single on Valentines day in over 8 years, and I still think it's a mean holiday that makes single people feel miserable. It's also the worst night of the year to go out on a date (everything is obnoxiously crowded), or get flowers (can you be any more unoriginal?).

But make no mistake, I am madly in love....

....and I do expect a nice gift from him!!

Bullets

• I'm trying really, really, really hard to give up my coke and coke slushes. It's not going so well. The longest I have made it in a single day was to 3pm, I was literally gagging and shaking when I finally gave in and went and got a stupid slush. I'm in trouble.
• My youngest got punched in the arm today by my oldest and said, "ouch! you hurt my feelings!!"
• Something else I'm trying really, really hard to give up.... swearing. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have a potty mouth, and it is rubbing off on my oldest. But I have to tell you, he used the term a$$hole like a pro when yelling at the other drivers in his racing video game.
• Remember a couple posts ago (like 10) when I gave you that quote and then said, "name that movie", it was from A Few Good Men. That was the movie that made me want to be a lawyer. I still really want to be a lawyer, but I also want my hair to stop falling out and my bathrooms to stop smelling like urine.
• I never thought I'd be one of those women who tried to do it all, but I kind of am. Except I've given up on keeping my bathrooms from smelling like urine.

A quick shout out

Today is my moms birthday, she's a great mom and my best friend. So I just want to take this opportunity to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!

Lucky You

I went shopping the other day. It started out depressing because I couldn't find ANYTHING worth buying, but my luck changed and I ended up getting two new shirts. One of the shirts I got is a Lucky brand t-shirt. I love those because they look cute and nice, but are still super casual. So I don't feel like a freak going to the grocery store in them, but I also look hot if my hubby happens to call me to go on a lunch date.

Anyways, while I was trying on some Lucky shirts I decided I might as well try on a pair of their jeans too. Now, when I was in jr. high, and high school Lucky brand jeans were the shiz. If you wanted to be at the height of trendy and cool, just wear a pair of lucky jeans. And if you were a guy, you wore lucky jeans with a white "wife-beater" tank-top. And if you were a guy who wanted to date me, you also needed to have your ears pierced with little silver hoops in them. But that's a whole other therapy session.

Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, I was trying on some Lucky Brand jeans...

Well, Lucky Jeans have never fit me very well. They've always given me the appearance of wearing a diaper. It wasn't cute, and I was never at the height of trendy or cool. But I figured, things have changed, I've had two kids, the jeans are now twice as expensive as they were before (at least), so they should definitely fit me properly now. But alas, they still give me diaper butt.

Luckily though, I found a gorgeous pair of 7 For All Man Kind jeans that erase all the bad memories and negative emotions that I have from never being able to wear Lucky jeans!!! Now to just convince Jason they're worth it......

My oldest

Here are a few stories about my fantastic oldest child, (he's 6).

I was forcing him to eat 6 bites of spaghetti before he could tell me he didn't like it. He of course was just sitting there sobbing and then came up with this doozy, "Mom, do you know that you are making me sad right now? Why would you want to make your own son sad? Your very own son?!" I left the room to gather my composure before answering.

My boys were, as usual, play fighting when suddenly I heard a loud thud and a scream from my youngest that let me know he was really hurt. I come upon the scene to find my youngest covering his right eye and crying, and my oldest rubbing his left hand saying, in a rather surprised tone, "It actually hurts really bad to punch someone." I had to leave the room to gather my composure before disciplining.

He also uses terms like "wicked awesome", "the bomb", and "punk", like a total pro!

Facebook is giving me an identity crisis

I love Facebook. It has provided me with hours of entertainment, and distraction from responsibility. It has also gotten me in contact with a lot of old friends and acquaintances, this is where my identity crisis comes in.

When I was growing up I went by the name Angie. It wasn't until I became an "adult" at 18 that I decided I wanted to go by my full name Angela. I thought it sounded more mature and I hoped that people would take me more seriously. I don't think it worked, but the name definitely stuck. Especially because it was how I introduced myself to my husband who then thought it was "the most beautiful name in the world". He even semi-cringes when he hears people call me Angie.

So now that I have reconnected with all these people who call me Angie, I find myself introducing myself as Angie with as much frequency as I introduce myself with the name Angela, and then have people saying things like "oh wait, I thought you went by (insert variation of my name here), is that wrong?"

And the honest answer is I don't know, because I don't know what I want to be called anymore, and honestly, I don't care. I would prefer if people just called me whatever came naturally to them... as long as it's not mean.

Red is his favorite color

When I decided to be done having kids after only getting boys I knew there were things I would miss out on; prom dress shopping, ballet classes, giant flower headbands on my tiny babies head, painting little fingernails...

Well, I was wrong about one thing!!!!

or not....

So I had a follow up appointment with my ophthalmologist the other day and it turns out I don't even have an Adie's tonic pupil. I have nothing at all, except a weird pupil that can get ginormously larger than the other one on occasion.

This was decided because apparently my pupil should have completely stopped working by now if it was an Adie's pupil. But it still works and nothing else is wrong with me soooooo, I'm completely healthy and normal.

Well, I guess the normal thing could be debated.

One of my favorite memories

Since I didn't have a blog when I was pregnant with my second child I want to share this story with you all so that I can remember it always, and to give you guys a good laugh.

So I got really sick at the beginning of my pregnancy, (like most women do) and was quite the vomiter. Well my sweet oldest child who was 2 at the time was still in the phase of following me every where I went and my runs to "pray to the porcelain gods" was no different. But the funny part is that he got such a kick out of watching me vomit, frequently shouting out some oohs, and ahhs, and then always cheering after I had stopped, "do it again Mommy!!!".

And I always did.